Today’s topic is like no other blog posts that i have curated here and it’s about family. And I’m just confident to share some portion of my life experiences here because I want those people who are struggling “to achieve what is ideal as a family” — that it’s ok and they are not alone on this.
The Norm On Broken Family
When you ask a lot people what a broken family is, you’ll mostly hear that it’s an incomplete set of people. No mother or father. For some, a broken family was caused by a divorce, abuse, neglect, or the death of a parent at a young age.
Throwback To The Trigger Of This Post
Yes there is a trigger and it’s actually a good one. Recently I was added in a group chat from one of the schools where I studied ( the intent is for a reunion). I started browsing the group char participants and I found this name of this person and it suddenly struck me with what he said to me.
It was just a casual conversation during that time with other classmates too, he mentioned that my grades and my life is doing well. But… I have a broken family.
I was silenced by his words and it took too long for me to react.
My Thoughts. For Reals
I’ve been a single mom for such a long time and been in and out of long-term relationships for decade and a few years and I always have this thought on what is “ideal”. Sometimes it just hurts me a lot that I have an “incomplete family”. Meaning I have a daughter with no biological father to fully support her every step of the way.
I realized that this is just an immature and close minded way of thinking where in fact we are complete— WE ARE ALL COMPLETE!
Things happen for a reason. We encounter people who are part of the challenges laid upon us. And not all those people are meant to stay. There are people who you just have to let go because they suck the life out of you instead of bringing the best out of you. Then we just have to move on with our lives — Because an end of relationship is not the end of the world.
Not A Broken Family
For “those who are wondering” (and those who already assumed). My parents live separately. My Mom and younger brother is in the US and my Dad is here in the Philippines and they are still happily married for 32 years. I live with my dad and my daughter. Together with my partner and our new bundle of joy.
Someday we might live separately or live all together (coz who knows). But living separately doesn’t mean having a “broken family”. We are a group of people who are open-mindedly surviving life and are keeping our ties together.
My real life experiences had me thinking that I should totally eliminate “broken family” from my vocabulary. If you are in the same (or almost) situation as mine,
Don’t pressure yourself on what’s ideal because this will be your downfall on finding what will truly make you happy. Stop relying your happiness on what other people think is normal.
Think of this… You belong to a modern/ unique/ mixed family. 🙂
Let me know what you think of this post by leaving your comments below. You can also reach me here. Thanks for reading! 💋